Perpetrators of domestic violence use a range of violent and controlling behaviours to dominate and intimidate their partner. These behaviours can form a pattern which is referred to as the cycle of violence. Domestic violence includes:

• Physical abuse: punching, choking, hitting, pushing, shoving, throwing or smashing objects and the threat of all these
• Sexual abuse: demands for sexual intercourse, including oral, vaginal, anal or use of objects, when one person does not wish to participate, threats of physical violence during sex, or forcing a person to participate in acts she/he does not wish to perform
• Verbal abuse: verbal harassment, put downs, insults, name calling and swearing
• Psychological and emotional abuse: this can include verbal abuse, however, it occurs most often in the form of humiliation, threats, insults, harassment or constant criticism
• Social abuse: not allowing one partner to have friends, or isolating them from their family, denying access to the car or telephone, using jealousy to justify actions
• Economic abuse: one person takes control of the family income so that the other person is either allowed no money or money only for household expenses and nothing for personal use

These types of unacceptable behaviours can make the victim feel powerless, confused, isolated, trapped, worthless, angry, or even crazy.

Some indications that you may be in a domestic violence relationship are: your partner or ex partner is :physically violent; jealous; often angry; dominating; demanding; possessive; threatening; or critical of you. They may also: have strong views on the 'woman’s role'; make most of the decisions; check on your activities; shout and hit you, then blame you for their actions; give presents after abusing you; or put you down in front of others.

Domestic violence is not the same as an argument or relationship conflict. A 'fair fight' can never take place if one partner is fearful of the other.

So what can you do about domestic violence? There are many agencies who can and will assist people who are suffering from domestic violence. You can apply for a restraining order. Even if you do not wish to seek help at this stage, you can still prepare a safety plan for when the need arises.

If you suspect that your partner monitors your use of the Internet, you may want to learn how to hide your visits to websites about Domestic Violence.

It is important to remember that another person's violence is not your fault. A person is responsible for their own violent behaviour. There are no excuses.

Domestic Violence is against the law.